A Sense of Confidence

I am now a full member of society (as they said at graduation on Sunday). I'm now fully engaged in preparations for my coming adventure.

I can proudly say that I have reached a new level of confidence. I have been rightly concerned about my trip across the country, until very recently. While there is of course still a tinge of nervousness, it is accompanied by great confidence. I have yet to embark on my 65-miler, but I have had some AMAZING shorter rides around town. Most recently, I have been loving the 3.8 mile loop around a nature preserve near my house. It's packed full of hills, gradual inclines, and flat streaks, which is great for training! I also have yet to go there without seeing wildlife, which always makes my day. A couple loops around is perfect ride in the morning.

On another note...I'm in love with my wonderful bike! I've been riding it for several weeks now and it feels great. I plan on taking it to my local bike shop to get it more accurately fitted, but so far it is great. And it's RED! I couldn't ask for more in a bike.

Soon to come: my packing list! (the most fun part of the trip :))

It's been awhile...I've been waiting

So yes it has been well over a two weeks since my last post...oh well it happens. Anyway, here's why. Two weeks ago I applied to bike across the country and build houses for affordable housing through a group called Bike and Build. My boyfriend did it last summer and it motivated me to do the same. Hundreds of people apply and are put into a lottery to be assigned a team and route...many are wait-listed...so naturally we're all very anxious to hear the news. Well, I finally heard today that I was assigned to my top choice route: the Northern US (the route beings in Providence, RI and ends in Vancouver). I'm super ecstatic and am relieved that my days will no longer consist of obsessively checking my email and application profile.

I look forward to the physical and mental challenge this summer! For now, this is all I've got for you...but stay posted for more information later.

Melancholy

It's that time of year...I'm getting ready to go back to school.  I am looking forward to classes, however as I pack everything and prepare to move out of my house again I can't help but dwell on my childhood.  I got my old family videos out today...the ones from when I was really little, 3 and 4.  It's almost as if I never want those times to be over.  I don't understand how people move on so easily.

At high school graduation I was very ready to move forward into a new chapter of my life.  But as I began to actually prepare for my first departure to college I felt a lot of mixed feelings.  I wanted to keeping growing, but I didn't want to let go of my childhood.  Everything was perfect the way it was and I didn't want to change that.  For graduation I received 20 letters from my mom, written every Christmas, when I was born, and at graduation.  I opened the first a week before I left in August and couldn't get through it without crying.  I have yet to read the rest.

I thought that these feelings of melancholy would slowly evaporate during the year and that I could accept the fact that life was moving on.  But...they haven't.  I don't actually think that I will ever overcome "home sickness" despite the fact that I go to school 10 minutes from my family.  Home is a safe place and even on long vacation I find myself looking forward to the return home.  In these transition years, however, it's especially difficult, you haven't established your own home and future family, yet you no longer truly live at your childhood home.

All of these feelings are rushing back as I now prepare for another year away from home.  I do remind myself that they are feelings that come from being loved and being raised by a good family.  While it is an emotional time I know these emotions come from a good place.  It is hard to let go of the past, but I know the future holds just as many wonderful memories waiting to be discovered.